Related Links Go to Page One of Lance's Q&A Responses Go to Page Three of Lance's Q&A Responses Return to Q&A Responses Index Read Lance's Memories: "Invocation and      Introduction" "At First Sight" "That Day" "The Secret Smile and      Everlasting Embrace" "Raychel Taurus Rising" "Acquiescence" "The Broken Point" "My Last Selfish Act" Ask Lance a Question Lance's Responses to The 10 Questions

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Question 21 - June 28, 2001 - Meaujax from Jacksonville, FL asked, “Laura reports that you received quite a beating from Kyle the night he ‘kidnapped’ Raychel. Why didn’t you press charges against him? Did you hire the bodyguard?”

Response 21: I did not press charges against Kyle McAllister because I thought it was more important to find Raychel than worry about my altercation with Kyle. That was why I filed a missing persons report for Raychel and not a complaint against Kyle. I simply didn’t think of myself as important as Raychel’s safety. I think that concern has proven itself out.

In response to your other question, I could not hire Sharon Wolfe if I wanted to (which I most assuredly do not). Sharon is quite outside of my price range.

Question 22 - June 28, 2001 - Meaujax from Jacksonville, FL asked, “In their investigation, have the police asked for any proof of your marriage to Raychel?”

Response 22: While many others have, the police have not. They have left me quite on my own. I would prefer being a little more in the loop with the police in order to know more about the investigation.

Question 23 - August 7, 2001 - Carly from Westminster, MD asked, “Is Kyle really the first person to describe what happened the night of Raychel's murder?”

Response 23: In his Neanderthal opinion, I am certain he believes as much. Although I was not an active participant in Raychel’s last day, my submission “That Day” covered the events of the night of Raychel’s murder approximately five months prior to his “A Day in Hell.” I would also like to point out that, despite the fact that I was not present, my details of the crime scene are significantly better than Kyle’s. This is due to my ability to glean information from the police through conversation, a skill Mr. McAllister still occasionally fails to grasp.

Question 24 - September 9, 2001 - Christina from Evansville, IN asked, "You never answered the question about what you did for a living. Before you got a book deal, what was your occupation? Was that your only income?"

Response 24:  Before my recent book deal, I was a professional wandering spirit. A temp. I have a bit of difficulty holding a job, so I decided to play to my strengths (typing and short-term acquaintances). It wasn’t much but it paid the bills, barely.

"It is a project I have held near and dear to my heart for years, and I expect the project will proceed quite quickly once I win my skirmish with my skeptical editor."

Question 25 - September 10, 2001 - Christina from Evansville, IN asked, "I have just a couple of comments and questions if you don't mind. First, let me say congratulations on your book deal. As an aspiring writer myself, I can only imagine how exciting that must be. Is your book fiction or non-fiction? Without going into too much detail, can you give me an idea of what it is about? When do you expect to have it published? Also, to bring up a rather touchy subject, some people are calling you crazy and others say you are a liar, all because you refuse to provide a little piece of paper that proves you were married to Raychel. I am sorry that people are so literal and hard at times, after all, a true marriage is of the soul is it not? But the sad truth remains that people who are interested in the truth will not let this matter rest until they are satisfied. I believe it would be in your best interest and in the best interest of Raychel's memory to provide the documentation required, or at least give the rest of us a time, date, and place of the union, so that we may go on to other things. Thanks for your help."

Response 25:  You have my gratitude for your congratulations. Kind words have been hard for me to come by, even though I am responsible for this site in the first place. While this time is exciting, I have also found it intimidating. I am quite used to writing for a limited audience. Now I find myself writing for a larger audience than I believe I can even conceive. It is awe inspiring. At the same time it is daunting for another reason. Did you know that most newspapers write to be understood on third-grade level? Not many people do. The novel has fallen prey to this acceptable mediocrity. Yes, there are a number of masters who provide CPR to the written word (Updike, Joyce, Faulkner, and Nabokov immediately come to mind), but the bulk of contemporary authors blather on a fourth-grade level at best. Have you read John Grisham? It is a tragedy in literature.

There is no current schedule for my novel, as I am currently breaking in my new editor. He is adamant that I adjust my novel fit into his structure. It will take some time to get him on my page, but I can be patient. I have the advance. As for the topic, I cannot reveal the subject matter at this time. Sufficient to say it will most likely be somewhere between fiction and non-fiction. It is a project I have held near and dear to my heart for years, and I expect the project will proceed quite quickly once I win my skirmish with my skeptical editor.

As for the uproar over my “alleged” marriage to Raychel, I am at peace with it. While I was initially upset with the hostility I received from Raychel’s “friends” as well as other interested parties, I have grown accustomed to it. As for the specifics, I have stated previously (in “The Secret Smile and Everlasting Embrace”) that Raychel and I were married before a Justice of the Peace on February 14, 1998. You are correct that I have been called a liar by many people on this web site, but I know the truth. Besides, it is a wonderful way to learn who your true friends are. Wouldn’t you agree?

Question 26 - September 26, 2001 - Julie from IL asked, "Are you hiding in a corner or what? I haven't been here in a while and the last memories you had posted was on my birthday in May. Why have you not said anything to all that has been said? A lot has come out since I have been here and Kyle really doesn't look so bad anymore. Actually you and Laura look like preying Hyenas on Raychel. Mainly Laura, but you are looking like an accomplice more and more!! Are you guilty of committing a murder with Laura or knowing about a hit Laura put out on Raychel because things didn't go her way with Raychel? Raychel no longer needed Safehaven or Laura for drugs or furthering her success in the music business. Knowing that Raychel had affairs with Kyle, Geoffrey and Ken could that have sent you into a jealous rage. I am sure Laura was well teed off to the fact that her plan to keep Raychel didn't work because everyone she sent to hook Raychel back to her fell in love with Raychel and sent her soaring another way. Could she have made a plan to kill Raychel or have her killed because Raychel wasn't going to be a part of Safehaven and Laura's life she wasn't going to be a part of anything? Or maybe Laura told you all these stories about the affairs Raychel was having with powerful men of the music business and you were no longer needed in her life and you went on a jealous rampage and went and killed her??! Well thank you for your time anyway, I really would like to think you wouldn't have done such a thing but..."

Response 26: Thank you. In one shot you have confirmed the reason I stopped writing in the Memories section. In “Acquiescence” I stated that (due to the deal I had to make with Ken Kincaid) the site would devolve into a banana republic “investigation” of Raychel’s murder and here we are. We have hyenas, affairs, jealous rages, and everything but a convenient one-armed man. I am so overwhelmed by your question I can only categorically deny that I had any involvement in Raychel’s murder. I would like to point out, however, that I learned some time before her murder that Raychel needed more than one man to keep her happy. I gave her the space she needed to be herself. It seems that others don’t share my openness.

Question 27 - November 3, 2001 - Major Mike from The Philippines asked, "What did you mean in “Invocation and Introduction” when you said that everything changed when you met Raychel Vanderhoff?"

Response 27: When Raychel joined The Bleeders, no one in the group had met with success outside of their personal acquaintances. Many of the members did not like each other’s work. Writers had rivalries with other writers, musicians hated certain other musicians, etc. As The Bleeders grew in number, so did the formation of personality cliques. Although there were more artists in the group, they did not support one another. However, when Raychel introduced herself through her poetry, her work crossed the lines of The Bleeders numerous cliques. That was the first taste of success any of The Bleeders ever received. It was good because it created a central focus for the group, but it was bad because many equally deserving artists received less notice than they were due to the attention heaped upon Raychel.

Question 28 - November 3, 2001 - Major Mike from The Philippines asked, "What was the previous bar owner's cause of death?"

Response 28: The previous owner of Das Krypt (the bar which became Safehaven) died in early 1996 after being shot by a customer over an overextended bar tab. The story gained additional color when the patron – a depressed and armed drunk – turned the gun on himself and committed suicide.

"After a great deal of soul searching, and the healing effects of my efforts on the Painseeker web site, I now know that she did love me."

Question 29 - November 3, 2001 - Major Mike from The Philippines asked, "In “At First Sight”, why did you want to delete your text at the end?"

Response 29: I wanted to delete the ending because sometimes the “truth” hurts. At the time I wrote the article, I was in a spiraling depression and I wondered in my article if Raychel never loved me. After a great deal of soul searching, and the healing effects of my efforts on the Painseeker web site, I now know that she did love me. That being said, I chose to keep the text because that was what I felt at the time I wrote it.

Question 30 - November 3, 2001 - Major Mike from The Philippines asked, "When you were with Raychel, did she tell you anything or something about her problems that may help this case?"

Response 30: I believe many of the things I have written about Kyle McAllister’s violent temper have been helpful enough in the pursuit of Raychel’s murderer.

Question 31 - November 3, 2001 - Major Mike from The Philippines asked, "What do you mean by being estranged before Raychel's murder?"

Response 31: I mean that Raychel and I were married; however, we did not live together or share our life. That estrangement began when Kyle McAllister brutally kidnapped Raychel on March 6, 1999 and continued through her murder on August 17, 2000.

Question 32 - November 3, 2001 - Major Mike from The Philippines asked, "Where were you when Raychel was murdered and what were you doing?"

Response 32: I have previously posted my alibi in “That Day” in the Memories section. I have also enhanced my response in Question 18 of my Q&A Responses.

Question 33 - November 3, 2001 - Major Mike from The Philippines asked, "Did Raychel tell you anything about the personality or whatsoever of Kyle McAllister?"

Response 33: I did not need to be told anything about Kyle McAllister, I have witnessed enough to know all I need to know. When he beat me and kidnapped Raychel (despite his announced reasons), his actions did more to condemn him than any hearsay testimony could.

Question 34 - November 3, 2001 - Major Mike from The Philippines asked, "Why do you and Raychel keep fighting with each other?"

Response 34: Raychel and I did not fight. I defy you to show an instance where Raychel and I fought. Perhaps you are confusing me with Kyle McAllister.

Question 35 - November 13, 2001 - Julie from IL asked, "This book deal you talked about, what is the book called? Is it fiction, non-fiction, or was there something I read about it being autobiographical? Does it have anything to do with Raychel? What is this book about in detail? You are keeping the details of the book a secret but when are you going to tell the people what your book deal is for? A large amount of money – we do know that – but when will you disclose the details about this book you are getting so much money for and is it about Rachel Vanderhoff?"

Response 35:  Unfortunately, I cannot yet disclose the subject of my novel because I am currently knee deep in research. However, when I am ready to disclose it I am sure you will be among the first to know. I can tell you absolutely that my novel is NOT about Raychel Vanderhoff.

"Laura has routinely double-crossed me since the beginning of our friendship. While I have forgiven her behavior up to this point, I can go no further."

Question 36 - December 6, 2001 - Christie from California asked, "Are you mad at Laura for telling how you broke into the apartment or over the fact that she went to the apartment while 'the murderer' was trying to move Raychel's body? Could you explain because your being mad at her and ending ties, as it wasn't quite clear to me."

Response 36:  I am not mad about Laura giving the specifics about how I broke into Kyle’s apartment during his abduction of Raychel. While it was impulsive and ultimately futile, I do not see the real harm in it. However, Laura’s recent disclosure that she may have been at the scene of the crime as it took place is mind-boggling on many levels.

Laura has routinely double-crossed me since the beginning of our friendship. While I have forgiven her behavior up to this point, I can go no further. Her complete inactivity on the night of Raychel’s murder is completely unforgivable. Think of the possibilities which could have resulted from any of the following:
1 – Laura calls the police.
2 – Laura tells Sharon (who she saw at Safehaven if not sooner).
3 – Laura calls Raychel or Kyle at the apartment.
4 – Laura calls me at home.
Instead, Laura chose to do and say nothing. Not even when the police ASKED HER! Why? Because she was afraid that they would learn about her supplying Raychel and others with drugs. Laura put her fear over the life of her “best friend.” This is the same person, the exact same person, who has complained numerous times that the police were failing to do their job! How could they if Laura was holding out information which could have been critical to their investigation?!

It makes me second guess allowing Nick Graves to run his investigation on my site. Has Laura played this waiting game with the police investigation for a reason? The possibilities are maddening. Because of this, I refuse to remain a part of Laura’s life. I cannot trust her. However, I will not bar her from the site, as it would most likely be perceived as my personal retribution. Instead, I will allow her to continue posting articles, and most importantly, answer questions (and statements of opinion for that matter) from readers. I hope you take full advantage of this continued opportunity.

Question 37 - December 19, 2001 - Diane in Sanford, ME asked, "How long did you date or whatever you might call it before you were married? And why did you marry if you knew she needed to be free?"

Response 37:  In response to the direct portion of your question, Raychel and I lived together for about six months before we were married on February 14, 1997. It is interesting to note that of all the people who questioned the legitimacy of my marriage to Raychel, none of them have since apologized for their behavior. Regardless, I forgive them. That is the kind of person I am.

With regard to why I married Raychel, I married her because I loved her. I know that seems like a simplistic response; however, the simple answer carries with it a complex one. Did I know when I married her that she needed to be free? Perhaps I did. Did I believe she would stay with me for the rest of our lives? Maybe not. I overlooked my rational perspective about our relationship and began to rationalize what we could have been if everything worked perfectly. Simply put, I loved Raychel beyond my means. That being said, we never divorced, and maybe she would have come back to me after she finished her odyssey in the music business. We will never know.

Question 38 - December 19, 2001 - Diane in Sanford, ME asked, "Besides who you feel is responsible, who do you think actually did it and why?"

Response 38:  While she has previously been one of my closest friends (or so I thought) I now believe that Laura Douglass murdered Raychel. I know that her alibi is that she was at Safehaven just before the murder, but I do not believe it. Yes, Sharon Wolfe indirectly supports Laura’s alibi; however, this is easily explained. I believe that Sharon was hired by Laura in the first place and the murder became a diabolical extension of that assignment. Who is the only other person who can freely verify their whereabouts? Geoffrey MacIntyre, who was drunk and incapacitated at Safehaven while both of these people claim to have been playing cat-and-mouse at Raychel’s apartment door. I do not believe they stopped at the door. I believe they committed the murder and have since affected a hate-hate relationship as an iron-clad alibi. Even with Laura’s recent admission to having been at the apartment door immediately after the murder, she still has Sharon verifying her alibi. Why did they do it? I don’t know. Maybe a disgruntled employee at Safehaven was ready to blow the top off their cover story. I believe the two of them are responsible for the murder of my wife. That is why I have cut off personal contact with Laura Douglass (I didn’t need to do it with Sharon Wolfe). The only reason I have not banned her from the Painseeker web site is because I want to see her publicly crucified for her deeds.

Now, why did they murder Raychel? Sharon did it out of greed. As I have stated before, Laura is rich, and I am sure Laura’s payoff was sufficient to override whatever moral code Sharon had left. Laura is a different beast. Laura loves to control people, even more so if the person is talented (because she herself has none). She routinely used drugs to control Raychel despite my best efforts. She also kept a room waiting for Raychel whenever she needed one. This was to deliberately undercut any relationship Raychel had with a man. The combination of drugs and free reign were too much for Raychel to turn away from, and Laura had her control. However, when Kyle came he took her away from not only me but Laura as well. Laura pulled strings left and right when Raychel came back transformed into songwriter Raychel Taurus. She even occasionally overrode Kyle’s programming, but not for long. So she hired Sharon Wolfe to watch after her investment. When Raychel pulled away from her this last time in favor of her secret recording sessions, Laura pulled her last string and killed my wife. That is what I believe. And just in case you were wondering, yes, I still blame Kyle McAllister for Raychel’s murder because if he had never kidnapped her she would be alive today!

Question 39 - December 19, 2001 - Monica in New Albany, IN asked, "What exactly happened the day that you tried to talk to Raychel on the street and was stopped by her bodyguard, Sharon Wolfe? Do you feel that she was extreme in her use of physical force? How did Raychel react to this?"

Response 39:  There is no doubt that Sharon Wolfe was extreme in her use of physical force. She attacked me without provocation or understanding as to the context of our discussion. I had been following Raychel all through the day for an opportunity to talk to her. If you have been reading this site you already understand that there were forces in Raychel’s life that do not approve of my relationship with Raychel (despite the fact that she is my legal wife). Regardless, I wanted nothing more than to wish Raychel a belated Merry Christmas and to see how she was doing. Raychel was worried that I was putting both herself and myself in danger by approaching her. I reached for her hand and let her know that I wasn’t afraid. That was when I was attacked by the Wolfe. As for how Raychel reacted, I do not know, as my face was being scraped against a brick wall at the time. I did, however, hear her scream for Sharon to stop. When I was released, I took the opportunity to flee.

Question 40 - December 19, 2001 - Monica in New Albany, IN asked, "Did Raychel ever speak of her life as it may have been prior to meeting you in 1997? It seems there is no mention of anyone about where she may have been living, or with whom from 1980 until 1997. Do you think that someone from her past may have caught up to her?"

Response 40:  First of all, thank you for the opportunity to reach into Raychel’s life instead of her morbid end. Raychel didn’t just speak of her life prior to The Bleeders, she wrote about it. After the flight from her family, Raychel embarked on a cross-country pilgrimage to Los Angeles. It is incredibly romantic when you think of it, especially when you consider the circumstances of her childhood. Raychel spread her wings both physically and creatively. She told me that her real beginning as a poet was the day she left her father. Her work bears that out. I have pages of poems in notebooks about her recollections. Some of them are verbal snapshots, other are parables waiting for interpretation. I will post some of the better ones in the near future. I think it would shed a new light on her poetry and her life in general. She took seven years to complete her pilgrimage. She told me that she wanted to taste the states, so that when she made it to Los Angeles she could handle anything. She would be battle tested and purified before ever arriving at the altar of her dreams. The determination involved in such a venture must be respected. I, for one, do

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