Raychel finished one song for Terror Trax. It was No More Dreams No More. I heard it once. It makes me sad. Not the song. I am sad because she could have done much more. It was not meant to be a good-bye song for her. It should have been a hello song. Something someone hears for the first time and asks who is that? Now if someone asks who is that the answer is she is dead. That is why I am sad by the song.
Mr. Kincaid called me in April to ask if I would write about my talks with Raychel. I said I would but I am not a good writer. I said is there a person who can make what I write good. He said no because the person who works on the site is Lance Wagner and he is a bad writer so I should not ask him. I am sorry if my writing is bad then. I hope you forgive me but I do not write english good.
I am not from here first. I came from Kiev, Ukraine. I worked at a steel factory during days. At nights I played drums for fun with friends that were in a band. We played jazz music. I liked hearing my albums from the black market of John Coltrane and Charlie Parker and Thelonious Monk and I wanted to play drums like their drummers did so I practiced a lot. Our band was not good but bands in Ukraine are not good so people thought we were good. I wanted to come to America and learn to play jazz drums there so I practiced drums and learned english and waited for a chance to leave the Ukraine.
I had my chance in 1995 and I came to the United States to follow an uncle who lived in Los Angeles. I used all my money getting here so I had none left for my music dreams. With no money I had to get a job now to live. I had to wait for my dream because I had no money for drums. My uncle helped me get a job as a janitor at Terror Trax because he wanted me to get my dream. I met Mr. Kincaid there. He was the owner then.
Since I began there I have cleaned all of Terror Trax. I clean the offices and the studios. I learned also to set up the studios the right way for people who used them. I did this so I could learn about music. I used my extra time to go into the studio and practice on drums. I played drums with the playback of a song recorded in the studio that day. Doing that made me learn to play many different ways. Not just jazz. It was good for me. I wanted to talk to the musicians about their music but I can not. Because my english is so bad people think I do not understand music good so I did not talk to them.
I saw many musicians when I worked at Terror Trax but I did not try to talk to them. Only one musician talked to me. That was Raychel Taurus.
Raychel Taurus and Kyle McAllister and Geoffrey MacIntyre were recording in the studio for a week when I came in to clean their studio. I did not want to come in while they were in the studio but I thought they were gone. I tried to leave when I saw them there but Raychel told me to wait. I did not know what to do so I stayed. Raychel asked me to sit and listen to some of their recordings with them. Kyle and Geoffrey said no because I was not a musician but Raychel said she was no musician either so maybe she should not stay either and that made them stop fighting. She sat by me and Geoffrey played two songs with me in the room.
The first song was quiet. I could not hear it good so I asked Geoffrey to turn it up. Kyle said that it was up. The good part was that I could hear all of the words and Raychel singing. She had a nice voice but not a strong voice. With her voice was a piano and drums and a bass guitar. I would know later that it was No More Dreams No More. When it was over I told Raychel I liked the song but it was easy to play and I could play it now. Kyle laughed at me and said to play it so I did on the piano but I do not play the piano good. Kyle stopped laughing at me after then. Raychel told me to listen to the other song.
The other song was the same song done different. It was loud sometimes and very loud the rest. Now I could not hear Raychel's voice when it got very loud. The music sounded like Ministry or Marilyn Manson but Raychel did not sound like Raychel. There were filters added to her voice to make her sound different. Weird sounding. The song sounded like things teenagers listen to. I told Raychel that. She asked me which song I liked better and I told her that if I wanted to listen to a song I would listen to the second one but if I wanted to listen to singing I would like the other one better. Raychel laughed but not at me. They let me go after that.
"Raychel said that I could be a secret member of the band." |
The next day Raychel found me emptying trash in the offices. She said that Kyle and Geoffrey were mad at each other a lot of times and she wanted to talk to someone else sometimes about it. She asked if I would be that person. I said I would like that.
It was a chance for me to get into the music business even though I was only a janitor. I have tried to get into a band here but it never works out. Some people who came to Terror Trax remember my face when I audition for a band or if someone needs a new drummer for a short time so I get the job. But I do not get to keep the job for long. I think it is because my english is bad or because I do not look like everybody else. But I still liked to play. Raychel said that I could be a secret member of the band.
I do not think anyone knew that I talked so many times to Raychel Taurus. She told me not to tell anyone but now that she is dead it does not matter. Mr. Kincaid asked me to write about these things and I will. Laura Douglass said that maybe I can help show who murdered Raychel. I do not believe her. I liked Raychel and she was nice to me. She had a dream to be a music star like I had one. Now she is like the chorus of her song. Raychel dreams no more dreams no more dreams no more.
I wish she could get one more dream and I hope I can give it to her.
